A woman can change her mind, right? Yes, I just posted last month that I was signing off this blog for good. Then I started thinking: (1) as long as I don’t devote lots of psychic energy to feeling guilty about the occasional (ok, frequent) long gaps between posts, who cares how often I publish? It’s not like I have advertisers or sponsors to satisfy. I have a handful of readers who, like me, are trying to stay active in the second half (or so) of their life, and who show some interest in the links and sources and adventures I publish.
And (2) 2024 is going to be kind of a big year for me: God willing, it will be my tenth “survivorsary.” (I keep hunting the internet for an official definition to link to, and can’t find one. I’m sure I did not make this word up! But for me, it is the anniversary of the lumpectomy surgery that removed my stage 1C breast cancer.) For several years, I celebrated each survivorsary with a new athletic challenge or pursuit. Then I became a candidate for ordination, and then a new pastor, and those activities took much of my time and energy. Pastoring still does! But I’m trying to get better at carving out time to stay healthy, and am determined to make time for some new fitness challenges in 2024. So maybe 50 is the New Forte should stick around a while longer, just to keep me accountable? That’s my current thinking.
So, ok, we’re back…
How did I not know about this terrific podcast series hosted by Julia Louis-Dreyfus, “Wiser than Me”??? From the podcast preview: “Julia Louis-Dreyfus wants to know why the hell we don’t hear more from older women, so she’s sitting down with Jane Fonda, Carol Burnett, Amy Tan, Diane von Furstenberg, Isabel Allende and Fran Lebowitz (and more!) to get schooled in how to live a full and meaningful life.” Give it a listen!
This article made me realize that I have an “inner ageist.” I have some deeply ingrained attitudes about what kinds of fashion or interests or activities are “proper” for women of a “certain age.” (So my inner ageist is apparently a bit sexist, too.) I usually manage to resist them. But not always. (Exhibit A: I’m still coloring my hair its “natural” brown instead of letting the actually natural gray come through.) And even though I can usually tamp the attitudes down, I am ashamed to realize they were there to begin with. I’ve even ranted on this blog about US attitudes about aging. But over the course of 61 years, I’ve also embedded some of them deep in my brain.
So this will be a good exercise: listening to my inner dialogue and correcting it… “What are you saying to yourself about growing older? Can you catch it like I caught my inner dialogue in the restaurant when I was being judgmental and ageist? Can you catch that inner voice — or the feeling that goes with it — in the context of growing older?” (Deborah Netburn, “Your Inner Ageist”)
Not everyone gets the privilege of advanced years. I want to make the most of mine, and not waste precious energy on ageist societal expectations. As the author points out, “…when we are aware we have limited time, this time becomes so precious, and we want to spend it differently, and we want to prioritize and we want to really care about what is important to us. That changes everything.”
A couple of months ago I read an article about the youth and beauty bias being built into artificial intelligence, “AI Has a Hotness Problem” (Atlantic Monthly). That’s where I learned that Microsoft’s Bing (which I mostly despise) has a free AI image generator utility. I had been searching the internet for evidence of older adults taking up kite-surfing, a sport which continues to lure me like a siren song but has a pretty steep budget-barrier-to-entry. Unable to find any articles or even real-life images, I turned to the Bing generator and – for the fun of it – asked it to create an image of an athletic senior woman kite-surfing. Feast your eyes on Bing’s interpretation of this request…
Her age is apparently signified by the gray hair and tiny smile line. Insert giant eye-roll emoticon here.
Lastly, a wellness tip: walking in nature measurably improves cognitive function and mood. So if you have the option and ability to regularly walk in a park or other natural setting, take it! Is walking in nature the same as “hiking”? That might be a matter of semantics, but I usually think of hiking as involving navigating some less-well-groomed surfaces, and the occasional trail obstacle (both of which are good for mobility and balance training!). In any case, the benefits of hiking are equally well-documented.
That’s all for now!
50 is the new "forte" 
Yay — you’re back! Great post, Marilyn. I love Advanced Style –could have sworn I owned it but can’t find it — maybe I got it from our wonderful library. Brings to mind the best-ever answer to the question “What should a woman over 40 wear?” — Whatever the f— she wants.
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